Seeing your child (or partner) sit up in bed, screaming with eyes wide open, is terrifying. But often, they look right through you and don't respond.
Five minutes later, they go back to sleep. In the morning, they remember nothing.
This is not a nightmare. This is a Night Terror (Sleep Terror).
Understanding the difference between these two events is crucial because the way you handle them is completely opposite.
The Cheat Sheet: Nightmare vs. Night Terror
| Feature | Nightmare | Night Terror |
|---|---|---|
| When | Second half of night (REM sleep) | First half of night (Deep Sleep) |
| Memory | Vivid recall of the "scary monster" | No memory (Amnesia) |
| Behavior | Wakes up, seeks comfort, scared | Thrashing, screaming, unreachable |
| Awareness | Fully awake and alert immediately | Confused, disoriented, "glassy-eyed" |
| Return to Sleep | Hard (too scared) | Fast (falls back into deep sleep) |
What Causes Them?
Nightmares (The REM Problem)
Nightmares are vivid dreams. They happen during REM sleep.
- Triggers: Stress, trauma (PTSD), late-night snacks (increased metabolism = active brain), or medications (beta-blockers).
Night Terrors (The Deep Sleep Glitch)
Night terrors happen during Stage 3 Deep Sleep. Imagine your brain is a computer trying to reboot from "Deep Sleep Mode" to "Light Sleep Mode," but it glitches. Part of the brain (motor cortex) wakes up, but the conscious part stays asleep.
- Triggers: Sleep deprivation (the #1 cause), fever, or a full bladder.
How to Handle Them
For Nightmares: Comfort
- Do: Listen, validate the fear, and offer reassurance. "You are safe. It was just a dream."
- Don't: Dismiss it.
For Night Terrors: Safety & Silence
- Do: Wait it out. Ensure they don't hurt themselves (thrashing).
- Don't: DO NOT WAKE THEM UP. Waking someone from a night terror is extremely difficult and leaves them confused and agitated. They are "stuck" between sleep stages. Let the episode pass (usually 5-15 mins); they will lie down and sleep peacefully.
The "Scheduled Awakening" Hack
If the night terrors happen like clockwork (e.g., 2 hours after bedtime), try Scheduled Awakening:
- Go into their room 15 minutes before the expected event.
- Gently nudge them until they stir slightly (don't fully wake them).
- Let them go back to sleep.
This "resets" the sleep cycle and prevents the glitch from happening.
Conclusion
Parasomnias are scary to watch, but usually harmless. They are a sign that the brain's "switch" between sleep stages is a bit sticky. Prioritize a consistent bedtime—an exhausted brain is a glitchy brain.